It's a curse
by MaddisonRei
Summary: Lilly Potter gives birth to twins with two potential father's. One, James Potter, the other, The Dark Lord... Her rapist. When the twins are attacked Lilly takes the opportunity to rid herself of the child she believes to be a product of the rape. Alex will figure out who she really is one day and who will take the brunt of her destruction? Her father? Or her mother?
1. AN

**Hi all, **

**I'm so sorry that I have not updated in so long but after a long hiatus I have decided that I am going to re-write a few of my stories, starting with ****It's a Curse****.**

**I've begun updating it with chapter's one and two. This is one of the stories that I might be making a few changes to along the way. I feel that I'm not really sure where I was going with the story and so I will be changing it slightly to allow inspiration to flow ;) **

**Hope you all stick with me a little longer and I hope you all like the rewrite.**

**Maddison xx**


	2. Lilly Potter's Pain

The pain was invading my every sense. Eyes burning, ears ringing, throat raw from screaming. My skin was hypersensitive, every touch sent my nerve-ends on fire and left me writhing in the torturous pain. Waves of pain racked through my body, urging me to make it stop, to just push it all away. I didn't want to but I needed the release. The pain continued to torture me more and more as I fought every instinct trying to control me. I could _feel_ people surrounding me from every angle. They unwittingly caused more pain with every step closer they came. One dared to put their arms around my shoulders and pull me close, leaving me screaming in pain and terror. I hated this. I hated it. I wanted this to be over, but it couldn't be. Not ever. Because even after this torturous labour was over, I would have the wailing product of it left to deal with.

I had always wanted children, but not like this. My husband is so excited for this, our first child together. Not me. What he doesn't know is that there is a chance he isn't even the father. The Dark Lord made sure of that. One night before we went into hiding the lads all decided that they would go out for one last 'night-of-freedom' which left me alone and unprepared for the rapist when he appeared. He said that as the pinnacle of the 'light' bringing me down would destroy the warriors surrounding me. Weaken them. I hated every second of it. And I have hated the product of it, all throughout my pregnancy I have wished that the wizarding world was not so against abortions. With magical children being as rare as they are, abortion is never an option. But, merlin, how I wished and hoped that some form of 'misfortune' would come along and remove the devil from my stomach. But I couldn't do anything about it. Not even speak. How could I speak out to my protectors and loved ones when I knew that it would crush them? That it would put them exactly where The Dark Lord wanted them? I couldn't. They couldn't afford to be vulnerable in this time of terror and war. But the child is an unwanted complication. One that I wanted to remove but was unable.

I fought so hard to just not give birth, but it wasn't possible to hold the child in no matter how hard I tried. I wanted it out of me so badly, but I also knew that as soon as it left my body I would be the things _mother. _I would have to care for it, hold it, even name it, and while dear James couldn't wait, I dearly wished that it didn't have to happen at all.

I could hear the surrounding people shouting at me, urging me to push, urging me to do something. Eventually I couldn't hold back any more and I just screamed. A small wail soon joined in with me, and then another not long after. All I could think about was why the Gods thought I deserved to be cursed with the horror of twin demons.

"Congratulations, you have two healthy children. One boy, born July 31st 11:54, and One girl, born July 31st 11:59."

With that said they placed the two squirming children into my arms. Both were small, ridiculously small, really. Both had pink skin, you could tell they would be pale, and both had mops of dark hair covering the tops of their head. I couldn't see their eyes, not that I cared at all for their eye colour, or any of them really, seeing them hadn't changed that at all, their faces were screwed up in concentrated anger as they wailed to their hearts content. I immediately passed the two children to their 'father', I didn't even want to look at them. I could see the midwives and nurses looking worriedly at one another, probably wondering about my behaviour… I'm sure this is not how new mothers are supposed to act around their new-born children.

"They're beautiful." I looked up at James to see his staring adoringly at one baby before quickly switching to give the same look to the second. He looked as if his greatest wish at that second would be to be able to look at both at the same time.

"Have you got names for them yet?" One nurse asked. I shrugged, which did not go unnoticed, whilst James answered happily.

"We liked Harry for a boy, didn't we love? Short for Harrison, after Lilly's grandfather. And James for a middle name, after me, of course."

"Harrison 'Harry' James Potter, how lovely." The nurse commented, jotting it down on the baby's hospital charts. "And for the girl?"

"Well, I've always liked Alexandra." James looked at me for my opinion, so I forced a small smile, which would mean that at least he would name the thing and I would have no part of it. "Alexandra Margarita Potter."

"Also lovely." The nurse jotted the last name down before smiling at the two of us and explaining that the children seemed fine but would need to be cleaned and checked over before being brought back to us. They took the children out of the room and all of the midwives filed out leaving only one lone nurse behind.

"It did appear to be an extremely difficult birth for you Mrs Potter so we would like to have you checked also, just to make sure you didn't lose too much blood of anything like that. You are obviously extremely exhausted so we'll take you immediately and then allow you to rest." When she had finished her sentence two more nurses came in. One helped the older nurse to wheel me out into a new corner of the hospital, whilst the other led James away to a waiting area where he could remain close to the new-born twins.


	3. Happy Halloween

It took me a year to overcome my hatred of the demonic twins. A whole year to come to tolerate my own children. The nurses diagnosed me with post-natal depression and decreed that I should not be left alone with the children, in case the stress became too much for me. Just tonight, when the alarms around our home went off, blaring loudly and hurtfully in my ears, I realised that I didn't want the children to get hurt. I didn't particularly care for them at all, but I didn't want anything _bad_ to happen to them. In my mind, that was such a breakthrough.

James, Dumbledore and I apparated just outside the remains of our home. The roof was blown apart with half of the house falling apart, brick by brick.

"Peter betrayed us." James whispered, seemingly in a state of shock. He ran forward into the house, followed closely by Dumbledore and then myself. Slowly making my way up the stairs after my husband and mentor, I made my way into the nursery. I had to gasp at the destruction around the room. I looked over to the two cots where the children were. Both children had blood running down their faces and only one was awake. Harry, the boy, was wide awake and screaming bloody murder into the night, whilst the girl, Alex, was lying next to him in the cot. Perhaps unconscious, perhaps dead, but certainly not asleep. Dumbledore picked up the screaming child, running his want over the two. The boy had a zig-zag wound across his forehead, almost like a lightning bolt, whilst the girl had a Celtic crescent moon scarred around her right eye.

"Both are physically fine, although Alexandra's magic levels are vitally low. Low enough for her to be a squib actually. Have you have either child tested before now?" James shook his head. "Well then, Alex must be a squib whilst Harry here is the Boy-Who-Lived, conqueror of The Dark Lord." My head flew up at this information. Conqueror of the Dark Lord. Any such child of the light could not be evil… right? The boy could not be the spawn of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named if he had vanquished them. The girl, however…

"A squib, James? She would never have a good life surrounded by magic and such. I saw how my sister grew, knowing about magic, but never being able to see it, use it, _feel_ it. She grew bitter, angry and resentful, which is not how I wish young… Alex… to grow up." I stated. I needed this child gone. I had proof now that the boy was James' son. The winner of the light side, The-Boy-Who-Lived. But the girl had to go. She is still a mystery. She could still be the spawn of the magical Satan, born from my own personal hell. I could not deal with it. I didn't want to. And I shouldn't need to.

"She's right, James. Look at her sister's experience… and think of your own. No pure-blood family would ever even acknowledge the girl, and your entire family would be mocked for the squib in the family." James seemed to deflate with every word spoken by the headmaster. He gently picked the girl up and kissed her small and blood-covered cheek. A tear fell from his own face, leaning a single salty streak through the blood on the 1 years olds face.

"Where will she go?" James asked, seemingly a little shaken.

"Well, Lilly's sister could always-"

"NO! I mean, no. Petunia would not appreciate having a child dumped on her. Especially not my child. She will not be treated well in that house. But, the muggle world does have a spectacular care and adoption system nowadays. Much improved from when you last saw it Professor, I guarantee it."

And with that knowledge we bundled the girl up, placed her in a warm basket, beneath plenty of blankets and warming charms and left her on the doorstep of the closest orphanage. Never to be seen again… or, at least, I hoped…


	4. Explanations

_**Hi everyone,**_

_**Sorry this isn't an update but it is important so PLEASE READ!**_

_**I've had some reviews and comments about the story about how twins cannot have different fathers and how a woman cannot get pregnant by more than one man at a time so I'm taking this opportunity to explain my reasoning behind the story to clear up any confusion.**_

_**How paternal twins are created is basically that the mother has a condition which allows two eggs to descend at the same time, and so when both eggs are fertilised two children will be born, twins but no more alike than any other ordinary siblings. **_

_**Identical twins, however, are created when an egg split AFTER conception which basically clones one egg, making two babies that are exactly the same. **_

_**Harry and Alex are paternal twins in this story as they are clearly non-identical, as boy/girl twins are always non-identical. **_

_**So, by knowing this we can assume that theoretically it is possible for these twins to be conceived by two different father's as long as they were conceived within hours, or maybe days, of each other. Realistically this is likely not possible, but in my story I am using the magic to explain the occurrence.**_

_**When Lilly was raped, both of her eggs would have been fertilised, but her internal magic attempted to protect herself from Voldemort. However, with two eggs to protect, she only succeeded it protecting one, the other egg was fertilised. Then later on when she has sex with her husband the other egg would be fertilised… producing two twins with different fathers.**_

_**I would also like to put in that so far in this story Lilly is not sure of who her children's fathers are. In the rewrite she has not had them tested and so is only guessing as to which, if either, are Voldemort's child, but this should explain how it is possible.**_

_**With Lilly growing up in the muggle world, I am assuming that she would have had some sort of insight into biological system's either from her parents teaching her muggle secondary school subjects and/or her sister having to learn it or study it over the summer for her holiday homework.**_

_**I hope this has helped to clear up any confusion and I hope it has made sense **___

_**Maddison xx**_


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